November 20, 2014

November 20, 2014

A conversation between Darryl and the Teacher.

Darryl, what did you do during your summer vacation?

I studied. 

Oh, that's wonderful!  Did you study math or science?

I studied people. 

Now why on earth would you waste your time studying people, when you could be advancing yourself academically? Not to mention, financially. 

You see Teacher, I'm not particularly interested in academic disciplines, but the variety of people is fascinating. 

Then did you at least make a scientific study, so that you could at least present a conclusion that could be quantified?  Maybe you could present a paper on your study. 

I'm afraid not. My study was completely happenstance since I was around a variety of people. With the only benefit being my personal understanding of how I interact with others and how they interact with me. 

Then in other words, you spent your summer loafing around talking to people!  Not to mention that your so called study is of no value because you took place in your own study! 

I didn't wear a lab coat either. 

What?!

Nothing. 

To some degree I talked, but primarily I'm an observer.  I watch and learn from people in their environment.  While I'm in their environment, I also get to see the odd little quirks in the world around them. 

In their environment? Don't you have one of your own? 

Not really. I don't have a house, or a set job. Nor is it really possible to sum up just what I do as a vocation or to quantify my skill set. My environment is now primarily made up of other people's. 

As a result, I am able to see the lives of an interesting diversity of people. 

Do you have these people's permission to study them? 

I suppose study would be a misnomer. It would be more appropriate to say that I was a participant in the lives of interesting people this summer. Since they were outside my previous circle of friends, and I am no longer bound by the adage that "birds of a feather, flock together".

What do you mean by that? 

Normally in our lives we tend to locate our friends and acquaintances through a commonality. These vary, but generally they are work, school, church, children, or the friend of a friend.  People who smoke seldom have friends that don't smoke. People who don't drink seldom have friends who enjoy drinking. The same is true with religion and a host of other scenarios. So it is, that birds of a feather, flock together.

Let's see if I have this right. You spent your summer vacation being an observing participant in the lives of people who are not of your flock.  What makes you so sure those people are not in your flock? 

That's the key. I no longer have a flock.  My friends are not necessarily determined by commonality but rather through happenstance. My acquaintances are now totally a result of chance meetings. An example would

Wait a minute!

OK, what is it?

You are making a distinction between friends and acquaintances.  Since you are making this distinction, you must have some way of explaining it.  

To me, my friends are people I know and trust.  They are the people I look forward to seeing and with whom I can spend enjoyable time with.  Acquaintances are the people I have met along the way who have yet to becomes friends. We have all met people and become acquainted with them but we have yet to know them well enough to feel as though they are a true friend. 

I see. Now go back to what you were saying. 

Umm, what was I saying?

You were talking about happenstance, chance meetings birds, your flock and what that all has to do with your summer vacation. 

Right! This summer I was able to share in the lives of a variety of people. Many of them I would have never known, let alone spent time with had I not been available. Available to uncertain change, a change in my environment and way of thinking. I also met and got to know some very interesting people this past winter, but today's subject is about my past summer. 

This summer I met a woman, who had spent 30+ years working for or in the Pentagon. All the while, living in the Washington DC metro area. Although we shared political ideology and we don't smoke, there wasn't much more to our commonality. Had it not been for a common friend who reconnected us after a 40 year hiatus, it is doubtful our paths would have ever crossed. Yet when they did, I was able to share in a snippet of her life. We spent hours talking about the things that make up life. At the end of our time together, I came away with another perspective on life and a good friend. 

This summer I was able to spend a little time on my friend Nancy's ranch. She and her husband own and operate a. 5,000 acre cattle ranch in Wyoming. Nancy and I finished high school together, but we only shared our senior year.  I had reconnected with Nancy a few years ago, after not having any contact with her for over 25 years. Being able to spend a few days on the ranch afforded me a glimpse into their way of life and the values they hold dear.   

This summer I was able to get to know my friend Kerrie and her mother, Debbie. A couple of gals that work hard, smoke like chimneys, and drink like sailors.  It wouldn't have been long ago that they would have never been a part of my flock. Now they are among my friends because I have come to understand that the odd bird can add, rather than distract from the flock. I believe that H. C. Andersen addressed this notion some time ago. 

I met a young woman who has MS. Rather than allowing that disease to limit her, she has set out to experience life in other parts of the world. Liz apparently has figured out how the educational grant systems work in the States and other countries. She has become a student of life and the system is covering her expenses. Of course she couldn't do it unless she worked hard and kept her grades up. I met Liz in passing, but that passing lasted long enough for me to spend some time talking to her about a life I knew nothing about. 

I met Liz's grandmother, Helen. My visit was brief, but interesting. Helen is an older widowed woman living alone on the farm she and her husband had bought in the 1960's. She told me stories of her youth and of starting up their farm in Iowa. Stories of her family and of those she had taken under her wing. I left there not really knowing Helen, but with the feeling that I had met her many times before through the kindness of strangers. 

Darryl!

Yes?

Is there a point to all this?  Is this the extent of you observations? 

Point? Umm, no! I'm simply sharing an insight that may have been overlooked in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. The very lifestyle that tends to keep us focused on a very narrow field of vision. I now have the opportunity to broaden my vision and I am trying to push it to the limits. If that sounds like a point, then I guess I have reached one. 

As far as this being the extent, I am far from it. This summer I not only met the people I have mentioned, but I was able to spend time with some of my family and old friends. I didn't simply visit them, I spent some time with them in their homes. Those opportunities afforded me additional insight into not only their lives, but to how we as a culture approach life.

So, just what do you intend to do with all this information?

Nothing. It's just to satisfy my curiosity and enrich my view of humanity.  Everyone should try to be observers and be observed, so they may appreciate the impact we have on the lives of others. To help us be less focused on ourselves and see more of the world around us. 

I'm afraid that since your project can't be quantified and seems to be of little value other than to yourself, I have no choice but to dismiss your work and hope that next summer you will knuckle down and study. I mean real studies. In the meantime, what do you propose to do with the winter term?

Oh, and by the way, what became of the quirks you mentioned? 

This winter I intend to enjoy the people around me and try to learn Spanish.   As for the quirks, I'll start here. 

What?!

Oh, nothing. 

Darryl