Crybaby
"A person, especially a child, who cries readily for very little reason
A person who complains too much, usually in a whining manner"
We are creatures of habit and routine. When we don't have those elements in our lives, we tend to loose our direction and purpose in life. This recently happened to me.
I found myself back in Colorado with a great deal of purpose, but no routine to get me to it. I noticed that whining had taken the place of direction.
From the day we are born and throughout our lives, routine is our constant companion. When people retire and their long time routine ends, they are often times lost as to what to do. Their constant companion is gone and they either set out to find others or wallow in despair. Often times the replacement falls short and the problem ends up being compounded.
Although I'm a long way from being retired, I have dropped out. Travel can be a viable replacement to routine. It's not uncommon to inject routine into travel even though travel appears on the outside to be random. You are not long away from your home before your travels take on the same type of routine and timetable that you left behind. 33 years ago when I when on my bicycle ride, I plotted my days in 60 mile (96 km) increments on the map and referred to my riding that far in a day, as my job. It was imperative that routine and habit be maintained to preserve a sense of direction and purpose.
It didn't take me long when I was in Barcelona in 2014, to establish a routine and purpose to my day. I explained it as, "I don't sit well". In the short time I was there I found myself in a very enjoyable state that had elements of routine, habit, creativity, and purpose, with just enough randomness to keep things from being mundane. I had precisely what I needed to be completely content and very happy while still being able to maintain being a drop out.
I filled the lose of leaving Barcelona with the purpose of helping Laura with her home, and
travel, that be once again, became punctuated by routine. It was when I arrived in Colorado that I was truly felt lost. I was back, but not home. I had purpose, but no routine. I began to whine. The nice things about *epiphanies is that you can have them.
One of the jobs I have to do while I'm in Colorado is to work off the debt I owe my attorney for his time that the Town of TImnath wasted this past winter. I won't go into it, but suffice it to say that since 1995, when I bought my property, the Town has done nothing for me other than cost me money and time. Unfortunately, this winter the Town cost me not only my attorney's time, but my property managers time, as well. I am now indebted to them both for my time.
I drove up to my attorney's cabin in the mountains to investigate the work I am to do. I found
myself driving up one of the prettiest stretches of road in this area, that was adorned with one of the best wildflower blooms in years. I got out of my car and looked at the magnificent view that surrounded me and was struck by the realization that I was now able to see my way forward.
If I sounded a little down these past couple of weeks, it was only because I was stuck in in the no mans land between purpose and routine. No longer traveling, the lose of my focus, coupled with the lose of the happiness I had discovered in Barcelona, had left me in a funk. My routine is returning, but more importantly, my creativity and sense of purpose are again taking root. My days going forward will be much brighter and happier now. Hopefully I will even be able to share a funny story or two. I much prefer laughter over whining.
Is there a moral to this story? Of course not. I'm not a moralist. I do know this though. If you are not sure of yourself or place, there is nothing like some time in the mountains when the wild flowers are in bloom, to relocate yourself and enjoy a great epiphany.
Darryl
* a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience
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